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Right now it says, Zander instructs me to write a bit more about what I love and what I do, along with what I’m looking for in another person. “Their head, heart, and hoo-ha, otherwise known as the vagina.

When I get a person to sort out their dating patterns, usually people get two out of the three.

That comes a little later, when I’m introduced to So my interest is piqued when this assignment arrives: check out Sweet Pea, the new dating app that has "empathy, kindness, and respect" in its mission statement and an article on fuckboys on their blog. But right now, she’s just trying to figure out if I’m a femme bot. You’re out all night, all the time." She stops on a photo of me in a vintage Galliano dress, submerged in a swimming pool at 4 a.m.

Of course there’s a catch: the assignment isn’t just to check out their app—it’s also to give my dating profiles a makeover with help from a life coach. She’s a life coach and author who’s guided everyone from rock stars to CEOs, and even mitigated corporate battles.

(Her take: Why seriously limit your prospects when you can make your interests clear via your profile?

) These fitness-friendly dating apps take the cake—er, protein shake—among single people who like to sweat on the reg: Datefit, which officially launched in late August and already has 20,000 downloads nationally, asks members to include their life goals, dietary preferences, fitness interests, and more.

There's a scene from a movie in which a dude nicknames another character "Frances Un-dateable" and chases her all over town. "If you’re looking for a life partner, this isn’t going to help." "I don’t know if I believe in life partners," I answer.

), how many times a week they break a sweat, and what they actually do the most—be it Cross FIt, yoga or team sports—and matches singles accordingly. Apparently, wannabe users have been sitting on the waitlist for months, and those who have successfully downloaded haven’t gotten many matches.

And I’m mortified that people don’t do the work to find that person. "Humans are way smarter and more intuitive than you give them credit for," Zander replies. They’re not thinking, 'Why isn’t she as hot as her friends? Otherwise, you’re just going to be manipulating someone else, and yourself, for a relationship you might not even want. Not saying, 'I’m multi-faceted, I have a lot of parts to me, I want to be with someone who acknowledges them and I want to have fun, too.'" Copied.

Because they could."According to Zander, "the work" involves admitting what you want and owning who you are—even on something as casual as a dating app. But you have to be honest." That starts with my bio description. "When you don’t tell people who you are, it’s like you’re putting up a wall for no reason. ' They’re thinking, 'Cool, she has her own little family in New York.'" “Every human has three voices competing for attention,” says Zander. That’s part of the hunt.” “Telling the truth is hot.” Zander says. They’d better be good.’ But you also have to tell the truth to yourself,” she says.

"I’ve helped people find the crazy love of their life. "If you look at what’s happening in our culture right now, the biggest thing I want to eradicate is lying. And you also want to give people context—show them your community, your friends."I tell Zander I can’t show my friends in a dating app, because they’re all hotter than me.

But I look at it like this: Who doesn’t want a million dollars? Who’s willing to put in the work to make millions of dollars? I think the number of people willing to put in the work to find their soul mate is around the same range. The dude would automatically start sweating them instead.

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