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It’s excruciating for the victim, and creates real trust and intimacy issues for them.
It’s time to call it what it is, which is severe emotional abuse.
Of course, you will never know which one is which, because they don’t the courtesy to just tell you how they feel.
The alternative term for this breakdown of basic courtesy is “haunting.” Similar to breadcrumbing, benching involves stringing someone along just enough to keep you around as an option.
A great example is when Drake tried to kiss Rihanna on stage at the 2016 VMAs award and she literally curved to give him the cheek.
While curving is somewhat nicer than a lot of other items on this list, it’s still often used as a way of keeping an option open even if you’re not really that interested. This is when one person has all of the power in an exchange. You’ll see this one come up on Reddit threads a lot.
Someone who will never make plans to see you but expect you to drop everything and come over when they happen to have an afternoon free. These people suck and, more often than not, are actually dangerous.
If your ghoster appears, that means you are being orbited.
This, too, can lead to psychological anguish for the victim, as they wonder if it means the ghoster is regretting their decision to abandon you, or simply keeping themselves in your orbit, so that you don’t forget about them completely in the off-chance they feel like hooking up again.
Because god knows that being in an intimate relationship with regular sexual activity is akin to being chained to the ground. Getting curved is a little easier to bear than a flat-out rejection.
It’s when someone turns down your advances but doesn’t do it in a direct way.